


A Ghost of a Chance

by cookinguptales



Category: The Muppet Show
Genre: Gen, canon temporary death, webisode coda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-23
Updated: 2016-02-23
Packaged: 2018-05-22 20:21:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6092926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cookinguptales/pseuds/cookinguptales
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Beaker may be dead, but that won't stop him from clocking in on time every day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Ghost of a Chance

**Author's Note:**

> Reposting more tumblr fic! Several people prompted "I thought you were dead" and uh. I followed the letter of the law if not the spirit. (ba dump tssh)
> 
> This is a coda for the webisode [Muppet Labs Experiment 5T832: Ghost Hunt](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfCaqBdYcn8&feature=youtu.be), and will make a lot more sense if you've seen that.

Beaker’s time card was punched. Kermit stared at it for a moment in disbelief before plucking it from its place and hurrying down the winding halls of their old theater. “Dr. Honeydew! I need to talk to you!”

Honeydew poked his head out of the lab a few yards down the hallway and peered at Kermit irritably. “Is it very urgent, Mr. Kermit? Beaker and I are about to perform a very important experiment. In fact, I’d go so far as to say it’s a matter of life and death,” he said, reaching up to adjust his glasses.

“Yes, life and death,” Kermit said, not slowing one little bit. “That’s exactly what I need to talk to you about.”

Honeydew sighed gustily and pulled back, allowing Kermit into the lab. It was a mess, even for Muppet Labs, and more to the point, it was empty but for the two of them. Which was exactly as it should be because “You told me Beaker was dead!”

Honeydew frowned at him. “I’m sure I didn’t.”

“I’m sure you _did,_ ” Kermit retorted. “You told me that he, and I quote, ‘had moved on to an unknown plane’!”

“Ah, well, yes, Beaky has been a bit corporeally challenged lately. But it’s nothing so serious as death, Mr. Kermit.” He paused. “Yet.”

Kermit’s mouth opened, then closed. “Excuse me?”

“During our last experiment, Beaker made a truly incredible breakthrough for Muppet Labs, and for scientists everywhere,” Honeydew said, wandering off towards the back of the lab. “He shed his corporeal form and became a ghost!”

If Honeydew was at all upset about his lab assistant dying, he didn’t sound it. “So Beaker _is_ gone,” Kermit said.

“Oh dear me, no,” Honeydew said. “Beaky is far too dedicated to the pursuit of knowledge to shirk his duties like that! Plus he knows I’d dock his pay. No, Beaker is right over there.”

Kermit turned to look at where Honeydew was pointing. There was nothing there, but he couldn’t help the shiver that went down his spine. “I don’t see anything.”

Honeydew made a dismissive noise and started pulling a rather large machine from the storage closet. “Yes, it seems that Beaker’s only visible to a very select few,” he said as he started connecting cables.

“Like who?”

“Well,” Honeydew paused, and then shrugged. “Just me, I’m afraid.”

Kermit swallowed. So either the theater was being haunted (again) or his head scientist had lost what was left of his mind due to guilt. Neither option sounded particularly appealing. “You’re telling me that you’re being haunted by your assistant?” he asked.

“Oh, you make it sound so _tawdry,_ Mr. Kermit, like something out of a gothic horror novel.”

“So how would you say it?” Kermit asked, starting to feel a headache start up at his temples.

“Beaker has been temporarily transformed, Mr. Kermit, which you must admit isn’t very unusual. And until we manage to get him fixed, we’re just spending some quality time together. Isn’t that right, Beaky?”

One of the whiteboards behind Kermit started to rattle ominously, and Kermit edged away from it nervously. “Uh… Beaker’s not an _angry_ ghost, is he?”

“Don’t be silly, Mr. Kermit. Why would he be angry?” Honeydew asked, blithely unaware of the way a few dry erase markers had started to float up in the air.

_'Because one of your experiments finally got him killed?'_ Kermit thought to himself, but he’d learned a long time ago that the relationship between scientist and assistant was not one he would ever understand.

“Besides,” Honeydew continued, ignoring Kermit’s suspicious silence, “We’ve just about finished the Deghostifying Machine!”

“The what?”

“Well, we’re still working on the name,” Honeydew admitted.

“Dr. Honeydew, I like to think I give you two a lot of freedom down here, but I have to put my foot down. You are _not_ building a machine to bring people back from the dead,” Kermit said, and if his voice wobbled a little, who could blame him?

“I told you, Mr. Kermit, Beaky’s not dead. The deghostifier only works on people who’ve temporarily lost their bodies, not those who have lost all ties to them,” Honeydew said, flicking a switch. “Plus, it’s already built. It’d be a terrible waste of company money not to try it out now.”

“What? But you said it wasn’t finished yet.”

“Well, it’s not finished until we’ve done a trial run, is it? Are you ready, Beaker?”

From far, far away, and maybe a little bit inside, Kermit heard a small “meep”. He’d never been able to understand Beaker’s speech even when he’d been, er, corporeal, but as usual, Honeydew seemed to have no trouble with it.

“On three, then. One, two–” Honeydew pulled a lever. “Three!”

Sparks flew as an eerie whine started to emit from the machine, and after flickering once, twice, the lights all went out. _'Is this what Igor felt like?'_ Kermit wondered, dazed and suddenly filled with the need to sneeze–the smell of ozone on the air was almost unbearable.

Someone else did it for him. “Gesundheit!” Honeydew replied, and again, a chill walked itself down Kermit’s spine. If he hadn’t sneezed…

A rapid, panicked string of meeps started up, tripping over themselves in their urgency. He could hear Honeydew shifting in the dark, and making soft, soothing noises. “There, there, my dear. I told you we’d have you right as rain in no time.”

“Is–” Kermit cleared his throat awkwardly. “Is everything okay in here?”

“Oh, we’re just grand, Mr. Kermit!” came Honeydew’s cheerful response. “Just as soon as we get the fuse changed!” The meeping took on an exasperated tone in response to that. “Well, I know you’re not okay, Beaky, but at least you’re not dead anymore.”

“You said he wasn’t dead!”

“Well, I wasn’t entirely sure, but–-oh, Beaky, now that we have you fixed, you simply must tell me all about your experiences.”

And that was it. That was his limit. “I’m… I just remembered I have a meeting with–-with someone who’s not here,” Kermit stammered out. He was starting to remember why he never, ever came down here.

“Please take care with the door on your way out, Mr. Kermit! We don’t know yet if Beaker can go out in the sun.”

And then, with a new explosion of panicked meeping rattling around the lab, Kermit made a clean getaway.

Good grief. He’d always known he’d had a spirited crew, but this was ridiculous.


End file.
